Some day. #newlife

Some day
you will realize that what he said to you wasn't real
Some day
you will finally see that you could have done better
Some day
you will find out about all the others
that he has been lying to you
and to many like you
Some day
you will get why he didn't want to see you as often as you did
why he didn't always answered your Skype calls
your texts or desperate calls
asking for an explanation

Some day
you will meet some one who will tell you real stuff
Some day
you will see a smile that is sincere
a smile that might even be a little silly
Some day
you will meet a man
not a boy, a man
who knows what he wants from life
and knows where he wants to go

There will be a day
that you will be ready
You will be yourself
You will know who you are
and what you stand for
and what you want from life
And you will be strong and independent

That's the moment that you can say hi
Hi to the man with the red tie and the cute smile
You can ask him with confidence what music he likes
or what he does for a living
You can say
with a sure mind and a heart that's ready
that ofcourse you would like to go with him for a drink in the coffee shop on the street corner

When the day comes
that you will meet the right guy
you won't even notice how welcome he is

But he will smile and see
that you will be
not a burden
not someone he has to text every second of the day to say that he does this or that because she's hanging on to him, afraid to let him go
he will see that you will be worth texting throughout the day
He will see a lady, growing to be a beautiful woman
worth getting coffee for
worth answering Skype calls, when you guys are apart

And most of all worth loving
and giving the best he can
to make her
smile too

©Hannah van Dijk
18 september 2014

I wonder. #NightlyThoughts2

I wonder.

Who put the smiles on our faces when we meet again?

Who put the stars in the sky to watch over us as we walk on the beach?

Who was responsible for the tears that we shed out of pure and utterly free laughter?

When did it happen that I started to have faith again?
What happened to those endless question marks that slowly seem to fade away?

Who is responsible for the bond that I feel when I’m with you?

Who is responsible for the love that I can give you?

When did it happen that I started feeling worthy again?

I know longer wonder,
because I Know.

What happened? #NightlyThoughts

What happened to our innocent selves?

What happened to us when we were a little younger and still believed in The One?

What happened to us when we still had to experience our first kiss?

What happened when we were told we had to shave our legs, because girls were supposed to do that?

What happened when we stopped believing in Santa Clause?

What happened when we started asking questions about how the world was created?

What happened to us when society started tricking us into thinking we weren't beautiful, if we didn't have those clothes or this kind of style?

What happened when I stopped believing I was beautifully created?

What happened when I started to look at other girls and other woman and questioning God greatness and holiness by saying: I’m fat?

What happened to my innocent self?
What happened to us after that first kiss, we had to demand, or happened when we weren't really ready?

Who taught us to look at ourselves a certain when we knew it wasn't really supposed to be like that?

Who put the jealousy caps over my eyes every time I see someone with ‘more success in life’?

Who taught us to talk behind peoples back and why does that come so easily?

Who taught us to judge people instantly, while you didn't even know the guy?

What happened when we started taking over insecurity our parents might have had, by following their examples into breaking up, one guy after the other?

What happened to looking up to God and asking for guidance?

What happened to just simply be yourself, instead of being a dolled up, insecure, tense creature, who doesn't know who she really is?

What happened to knowing who you are in Christ? Loved, beautiful, blessed and mostly: save.

What happened to our innocent selves?

What happened to me?

I wonder.

Ik besef. #MH17

Ik besef nu pas
en jij bent ook nu pas
thuis in ons land
waar jij niet meer van kan genieten
En ze weten nog niet eens
of jij jij wel bent

Ik besef nu pas
dat jij jij was
en dat ik niet wist dat je er bij was
en ik voel van alles
Ik voel pijn
en nu weet ik hoe het komt

Ik besef nu pas
dat de tranen die vallen
voor jou zijn
En dat mensen jou kwijt zijn
en je niet meer te vinden bent

Ik besef
dat jij misschien paniek beleefde
en misschien herinneringen afspeelde
in je hoofd
was het chaos
of was er stilte?

Ik besef
dat ik nu hier ben
en jij hier niet meer bent
Ik besef
dat ik blij moet zijn voor mij leven

En het besef is er
dat dit alles wat ik kan doen

Ik besef.


©Hannah van Dijk

M i c h i e l : )

I love you
what more is there to say
than just
I love you

Your eyes
your lips
the way you sleep
the way you wake me up

I want you to make me breakfast in bed
I want you to kiss me when I am sad
I want you to hold me tight
Because sometimes I'm lost
and you are the one to tell me
the monsters in the dark
are not real and
you can take them

I love the sound of your breathing
the sound of your heartbeat
I love the smell of your hair
and your arms
and your sweater

I love it when you just not sure
I love it when you ask questions
I love it when you smile with your eyes
and
I love you

The tears in your eyes
say enough to tell me
that you mean what you say

The smile on your lips
say enough to tell me
that you think I'm very funny

I am so deeply in love with you
And I fall more in love with you everyday

Darling,
you are my forever

All my love,
Your girl

It won't be fine (At all)

I want you to take my lunchpack
for when you leave me
this afternoon
I want you to take my hand
just one more time
and tell me everything will be fine
because I know
it won't be fine
at all

I want you to take your bags
and all the shorts
laying around my room
because I know
you will not be here
for any longer

You will kiss my forehead
and leave me with regrets
because you know
that I didn't want things to end
like this

I want you to take all the sandwiches
and a glass of milk
because this is how I liked to take care of you
And you liked the way my hair smelled
after the 3th shower
that day

And after all the long conversations
and tearing up
and tearing down the walls
It's time to say it
Because we both know

You will take my lunchpack
for when you leave me
not very long from now

And I want you to take my hand
just one more time
and tell me everything will be fine
because I know
it won't be fine
at all

©HannahvanDijk

´We accept the love we think we deserve.´

‘We accept the love we think we deserve.’

Isn’t this true though?

Don’t we?

Don’t you ever feel like you deserve more.. although at the same time it feels like you have all the love in the world. More than you could ever imagine?

Or is that selfish?

I don’t know.. I’m not sure.

I think it isn’t good that we accept the love we think we deserve.

Because we always deserve better. Right?

Or wrong?

What’s the answer to that?

DO we deserve better?

Or is there a limit to what we deserve

And is it right in front of us?

We accept the love we think we deserve, because we know what we’re worth right?

Are you worth the love you’re getting?

Or do you think you deserve better?

Because right now, in this moment, I know I deserve this love. 

No more no less.

This love, love from a guy I met only a few years ago

And I know it´s enough

I don’t want more

Or better

This is better

This is the best

This is de love I deserve

So I think we should discover ourselves

And look at ourselves and learn to love ourselves

And after that I think we’re ought to go into the world and give love

So that we may receive the love we deserve.

Pre-wedding shoot Nienke & Sven

Vandaag een pre-wedding/trouwkaart fotoshoot gedaan met de sprankelende Nienke en de handsome groom-to-be Sven.
We zijn op de gammele studenten fietsen Wageningen door gecrosst, opzoek naar de mooiste plekjes.

Sven en Nienke, beide met veel goede ideeën en duidelijk over wat ze wilde (al verschilde dat soms nog wel eens), vormen een prachtig paar. Geweldig om foto's mee te maken en mee te lachen. Want dat hebben we gedaan: lachen, lachen, lachen. Nienke met haar originele ideeën en Sven die spontaan uitbarst in allerlei liedjes en die zijn mening tegen over spontane en soms wat (te) gekke ideeën van zijn aanstaande vrouw, niet uit laat.
Het weer liet ons ook niet in de steek en gaf ons zo overgoten velden met prachtige boterbloemen en koolzaad!

Het was een top dag. De foto's blijven nog even geheim, maar ik hou jullie op de hoogte!

Ik heb ook een sneak peak gekregen in het draaiboek van de bruiloft in de nazomer. Het word fantastisch. Tot dan!

We danken God voor vriendschap en dat het weer zo mee zat. Ik dank Hem dat ik deze mooie mensen mag kennen en dat de wereld een beetje mooier is door hen. 

Atletiek wedstrijd.

 Heb je wel eens het idee dat niks in focus is om je heen? 

Dat niks wat je doet nuttig is,

Omdat je niks helemaal afmaakt,

Je doet alles maar zo zo. Maar half half. 

Ja? Nee? 

Nou zo voelt het bij mij. 

Half geloven.. woorden enzo. Maar daden: ho maar

Beetje school, maar niet te veel.

Beetje familie. Ook nog eens gescheiden ouders

Beetje boeken lezen, maar niet echt een boek uitlezen.

Beetje dingen opruimen, maar nooit volledig.

Dingen op internet bestellen en maar de helft betalen en de rekeningen stapelen op.

Beetje dit

Beetje dat

Dan weer die mensen zien want 'lang niet gesproken'

En dan weer die mensen 'oh lang niet gezien' 

Je doet vanalles en bent de hele dag druk met van alles en nog wat.

Maar uiteindelijk .. aan het einde van de dag doe je eigenlijk niks.

En lijkt het ergens naar..

Is je leven eigenlijk een puinhoop.

Je begint auto rijlessen maar haalt nooit je rijbewijs.

Begint aan verhalen maar maakt ze niet af.

Begint met een gebed .. maar het eindigt nooit met amen.

Wat moet ik nu ?

'Ren als de atleet die wint.' Zegt Paulus. 

Hoe dan?! Vraag ik.

Brief van Paulus aan de Romeinen.

Wij zijn dus als rechtvaardigen aangenomen op grond van ons geloof en leven in vrede met God, door onze Heer Jezus Christus. Dankzij hem hebben we door het geloof toegang gekregen tot Gods genade, die ons fundament is, en in de hoop te mogen delen in zijn luister prijzen we ons gelukkig. En dat niet alleen, we prijzen ons zelfs gelukkig onder alle ellende, omdat we weten dat ellende tot volharding leidt, volharding tot betrouwbaarheid, en betrouwbaarheid tot hoop. Deze hoop zal niet worden beschaamd, omdat Gods liefde in ons hart is uitgegoten door de heilige Geest, die ons gegeven is. 

Romeinen 5:1-5 NBV

wow. We mogen onszelf gelukkig prijzen.

Want we hebben hoop.