You know what?
I like starting over. A new beginning.
I like meeting over and over again.
New people, new things to learn, new situations, everything new.
The perks of having a fresh start with something is that every time something, at least for you, was untouched before you came to it. And the longer you have something it turns dirtier and it get heavier, loaded with crap, troubles and what not.
When you meet a person for the first time, its smile, its problems, its flaws, its beauty, its craziness is all new, because you've never experienced it before.
The longer you know someone.. That smile turns into a sad face more often, because you get into fights, because you learn how they react to certain things. You learn how they get involved, you see how they move when things happen and you know when they don't like something. The longer you know someone.. its flaws stay flaws, but they get on your nerves. Because at first it seemed like not such a big deal, but it gets worse every day.
The longer you know someone.. its beauty becomes normal and standard It isn't something special anymore, it becomes something that you 'used to' admire. Its craziness becomes boring. And the new-ish-ness, becomes something from 'way back'. Because you go 'way back' with that person.
Starting over, on the other hand, is refreshing. That's why I like to write the beginning of stories. I can always start over. I can make up a new story line, about two people. Where they meet. Why they meet. I can create my own, new world. I can put a little bit of me into that story, a little bit of 'new' on the words. Then people can read something and think 'hey, this is new'. And every time someone reads it, it's new. Because the thing I sprinkle over my words when I write, is something 'new' from my heart.
And the love for creating new stories and only writing the beginning, leaving the reader wondering where the characters will end up, is something I learned from life. Because I've seen from so close that it's possible that the longer you're around someone or know someone, that 'thing' that was once new, it can break. Because it became so fragile. It became breakable, although once it was so strong and new.
Other people got involved and shut out. New people happened, kids happened, fights happened, disagreement happened, grey hair happened, headaches happened, belly fat happened. Life happened.
And than it's over. There come's the ending. And it breaks my heart.
I don't want something to end. That's why I love fairy tales and dreaming when I'm sleeping. Because they never end. When a fairy tale is 'over' the final words are 'and they lived happily ever after'. That means they had a whole life ahead of them. And no one writes the ending of that. No one knows what eventually happened to them, so we are free to fill that part in.
It doesn't happen in real life. Real life isn't made to just fill in the blanks with whatever you want. Life happens.
But hey, here comes the cheery part. You can always make your own new beginning. A fresh start with the 'things' from 'way back'. And it's something to look forward to!
Because I know I don not always see the places in my world where things get clearer, but I know they are out there. And for me writing is something that really helps lighten things up. I know God helps me through these thing, although it sometimes is so hard to feel, hear or see.
Then I just try to kneel down and be silent, because when I have nothing I know God has something worked out for me.
I want you to know that I still very much like new beginnings, but I also want to say that it is very important to take care of the people you know. The people you love, and the people that love you. Because once they're gone, because you didn't put enough effort into your relationship, they're not going to come back. So please be careful with the 'new' stuff. But be a lot more careful with the 'stuff' you already got for a very long time. And just to make it clear for you (and for myself): by that I mean your parents, your brothers and (in my case) sisters. Your friends, that know you so well. Take care of them, as they will take care of you !! It's important to keep those people close, because, out of all the people, they know you so well, because they've known you for so long and they, out of all the people, know how to cope with you. New people are awesome and they can get to that level of knowing you, but those things take time. So don't fool yourself by telling yourself it's fine. Because it's so important to have people around you, who have been here 'all along'.
And of course, try to see the beauty in life, even though there may be storm clouds overhead.
Because God loves you to much to let you go.
And of course there should be a cliche ending to this:
Be strong now,
things will get better.
It may be stormy now,
but it can't rain forever.
And I think that is very much so.
Of course we can't forget:
'Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end.' One of my personal favorites.
'Trust in the Lord with all you heart; and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.'
Proverbs 3:5-6
And I think this a very beautiful passage from the bible:
Jesus said to his disciples:
"I tell you not to worry about your life! Don't worry about having
something to eat or wear. Life is more than food or
clothing. Look at the crows! They don't plant or
harvest, and they don't have storehouses or barns. But God takes care of them.
You are much more important than any birds. Can worry
make you
live longer? If you don't have
power over small things, why worry about everything else? Look how the wild flowers grow! They don't
work hard to make their clothes. But I tell you that Solomon, with all his wealth, wasn't as well clothed as one of these
flowers. God gives such beauty to
everything that grows in the fields, even though it is here today and thrown
into a fire tomorrow. Won't he do even more for you?" - Luke 12
Just a normal day,
Tiger lily
PS: Sorry for the loads of 'air-quotes'
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