I wonder. #NightlyThoughts2

I wonder.

Who put the smiles on our faces when we meet again?

Who put the stars in the sky to watch over us as we walk on the beach?

Who was responsible for the tears that we shed out of pure and utterly free laughter?

When did it happen that I started to have faith again?
What happened to those endless question marks that slowly seem to fade away?

Who is responsible for the bond that I feel when I’m with you?

Who is responsible for the love that I can give you?

When did it happen that I started feeling worthy again?

I know longer wonder,
because I Know.

What happened? #NightlyThoughts

What happened to our innocent selves?

What happened to us when we were a little younger and still believed in The One?

What happened to us when we still had to experience our first kiss?

What happened when we were told we had to shave our legs, because girls were supposed to do that?

What happened when we stopped believing in Santa Clause?

What happened when we started asking questions about how the world was created?

What happened to us when society started tricking us into thinking we weren't beautiful, if we didn't have those clothes or this kind of style?

What happened when I stopped believing I was beautifully created?

What happened when I started to look at other girls and other woman and questioning God greatness and holiness by saying: I’m fat?

What happened to my innocent self?
What happened to us after that first kiss, we had to demand, or happened when we weren't really ready?

Who taught us to look at ourselves a certain when we knew it wasn't really supposed to be like that?

Who put the jealousy caps over my eyes every time I see someone with ‘more success in life’?

Who taught us to talk behind peoples back and why does that come so easily?

Who taught us to judge people instantly, while you didn't even know the guy?

What happened when we started taking over insecurity our parents might have had, by following their examples into breaking up, one guy after the other?

What happened to looking up to God and asking for guidance?

What happened to just simply be yourself, instead of being a dolled up, insecure, tense creature, who doesn't know who she really is?

What happened to knowing who you are in Christ? Loved, beautiful, blessed and mostly: save.

What happened to our innocent selves?

What happened to me?

I wonder.

Ik besef. #MH17

Ik besef nu pas
en jij bent ook nu pas
thuis in ons land
waar jij niet meer van kan genieten
En ze weten nog niet eens
of jij jij wel bent

Ik besef nu pas
dat jij jij was
en dat ik niet wist dat je er bij was
en ik voel van alles
Ik voel pijn
en nu weet ik hoe het komt

Ik besef nu pas
dat de tranen die vallen
voor jou zijn
En dat mensen jou kwijt zijn
en je niet meer te vinden bent

Ik besef
dat jij misschien paniek beleefde
en misschien herinneringen afspeelde
in je hoofd
was het chaos
of was er stilte?

Ik besef
dat ik nu hier ben
en jij hier niet meer bent
Ik besef
dat ik blij moet zijn voor mij leven

En het besef is er
dat dit alles wat ik kan doen

Ik besef.


©Hannah van Dijk

M i c h i e l : )

I love you
what more is there to say
than just
I love you

Your eyes
your lips
the way you sleep
the way you wake me up

I want you to make me breakfast in bed
I want you to kiss me when I am sad
I want you to hold me tight
Because sometimes I'm lost
and you are the one to tell me
the monsters in the dark
are not real and
you can take them

I love the sound of your breathing
the sound of your heartbeat
I love the smell of your hair
and your arms
and your sweater

I love it when you just not sure
I love it when you ask questions
I love it when you smile with your eyes
and
I love you

The tears in your eyes
say enough to tell me
that you mean what you say

The smile on your lips
say enough to tell me
that you think I'm very funny

I am so deeply in love with you
And I fall more in love with you everyday

Darling,
you are my forever

All my love,
Your girl

It won't be fine (At all)

I want you to take my lunchpack
for when you leave me
this afternoon
I want you to take my hand
just one more time
and tell me everything will be fine
because I know
it won't be fine
at all

I want you to take your bags
and all the shorts
laying around my room
because I know
you will not be here
for any longer

You will kiss my forehead
and leave me with regrets
because you know
that I didn't want things to end
like this

I want you to take all the sandwiches
and a glass of milk
because this is how I liked to take care of you
And you liked the way my hair smelled
after the 3th shower
that day

And after all the long conversations
and tearing up
and tearing down the walls
It's time to say it
Because we both know

You will take my lunchpack
for when you leave me
not very long from now

And I want you to take my hand
just one more time
and tell me everything will be fine
because I know
it won't be fine
at all

©HannahvanDijk